Look beyond the fun

I used to think that, if there’s anything that makes me happy, it’s supposed to be, well, fun. Isn’t it? Music is one of my happy makers. I listen, read, analyse, play songs, and arrange music – every single day, in one way or another, with an instrument or another. Then it’s not fun anymore. My ideas run dry. My music feels flat. The music pieces are getting much more complicated than I can handle. Cope with recording software is nerve-wrecking (yes I’m not the technical type!) I used to practice at various times with decent output, but years go by, and playing/making music isn’t as fun as I thought it to be. Then why did I still happily glue to it until now?

My social life goes a bit dull lately. Wake up early (meaning no hang over the night before). Eat healthy (somehow boring) meals everyday, eliminate all junk food, switch out soda for tea, stick to consistent exercise routine. Constantly keep in touch with the same best friend for the last 14 years! Keep contact with the same distant person for over a year (not the business kind if you ask). Write on a daily basis.

In June 2014, I noted this: “The people looking for their daily motivation fix aren’t the people seriously looking to take action. They wanna double click an image on their phone, feel good for a second, and go back to doing things they way they have always done.” That person was me.

Fortunately, after I stopped flipping the Inspiring images and my life got much boring, I accomplished more than before. I finished translating a history book that got published (When I looked back at it, I’m still ashamed of my language skills lol, but it doesn’t matter anymore. The point is that I got it done, and learned to get better at it). That unexciting work (euh, it is!) gets me an exciting, fun adventure to get scuba diving certificate (which matters so much to me!) and be a tour guide in an exotic island for a month in 2015 (Saved the date, can’t wait to work on it!)  I finished a thesis that got interrupted by my wanderlust at that time. I finished two tests that I have put on hold since 2012. I took my life conundrum to greater extent of consideration. Along the way, I learned to purge regularly. Destroy goes hand in hand with create. I went from frantic and frazzle (The side-effect of having fun!) to deliberate and methodical, learning to set up habitual approach for any goal.

Contrary to my previous belief, everything came unannounced and without lots of fanfare. I’m the only person who ever really grasps the internal transformation. That keeps me from burning out too quickly, but sustaining the level of energy I need for various activities. Boredom now hardly brings me discomfort, but peace and freedom to follow what counts.

Boredom is a gift. Use it wisely.

BOREDOM

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